Eu não vim aqui / Pra entender ou explicar / Nem pedir nada pra mim: dezembro 2004

And now what?

I’ve learned to love him
Got used to his smell
Got used to his smile
Now I can’t think of anything
In which he isn’t included
I just heard a story
As sad as mine
And imagined us together
Laughing out loud
My t-shirt says it all
It’s a story unfinished
My eyes get wet
Oh, save me
His lips were really thin
But he kissed me all, gently
Kind and slowly
The way he knows I’ll never forget
Now my beer is hot and smelly
I’ve waited too long
Never came back
And never will
I know
Right now I really don’t care
I just hope I never loose my memories
They make me alive
They’ve made me change
And now they keep me happy
I want to live that again
My heart is fixed I’m pretty sure
And I wanna love again

These are the days that I've been missing
Give me the taste give me the joy of summer wine
These are the days that bring new meaning
I feel the stillness of the sun and I feel fine
Sometimes when the nights are closing early
I remember you and I start to smile
Even though now you don't want to know me
I get on by, and I go the extra mile
These are the times of love and meaning
Ice of the heart has melted away and found the light
These are the days of endless dreaming
Troubles of life are floating away like a bird in flight
These are the days that I've been missing
Give me the taste give me the joy of summer wine
These are the days that bring new meaning
I feel the stillness of the sun and I feel fine

então é natal

Também

E então eu soube que minha vida mudaria completamente
Meus gostos, minhas roupas, minhas risadas, meus sonhos
Nunca mais seriam os mesmos
Ainda é difícil acreditar
Eu nunca pensei encontrar alguém assim:
Entrou na minha vida, mudou tudo em mim
Me mostrou um mundo diferente
Eu segui... me entreguei totalmente
Ao mundo novo que me apresentou
E então eu fui feliz
Até que me perdi
E sabia que assim tinha perdido tudo junto
E eu sempre soube
Que ia sofrer, que ia levar um pedaço de mim
E, mesmo assim, eu curti
Acreditei
E valeu a pena!
Naquela semana, eu sabia que seria o fim
E eu chorei. Chorei muito.
E então aconteceu...
Eu vivi!
Sozinha, sozinha, senti, sofri, chorei, sorri
E hoje eu posso dizer que eu vivi!
E que eu amei, e me entreguei,
Que eu sofri, chorei, mas eu sobrevivi
E que o tempo é um amigo querido
Que apagou tudo que eu sofri
E deixou só lembranças boas
Pra que eu não tenha medo de me entregar de novo
E ele tá certo
Eu posso, eu vou e eu não tenho medo
(Hm.. um pouco de cautela, talvez
Mas eu tô aqui, não tô?!)

Don't wanna sound full of myself or rude
But you ain't looking at no other dudes cause you love me
So you think about a chance
You find yourself trying to do my dance
Maybe cause you love me
So then we tried - ain't feeling this love now
Because you weren't used to how fast we touched
Then we locked eyes - and I knew I was in there
And I was gon' tear ya ass up
I know that I'm carrying on, nevermind if I'm showing off
I was just frontin
I'm ready to bet it all, unless you don't care at all
But you know I want ya
Trying to be the best girlfriend you could be
But still you sneak and look at me, and girl I love it
Then you give your other girl a shove
Tell her you gon' palm her ass like it was
And she's gon love it
So then we tried - ain't feeling this love now
Because you weren't used to how fast we touched
Then we locked eyes - and I knew I was in there
And I was gon' tear ya ass up
Everytime your name was brought up
I would act all nonchalant infront of an audience
Like if you was just another shorty I put the naughty on
But uh, truth be told you do me for a loop, this Hov
I'm too old to be frontin when I'm feeling Denzel
And you acting like you ain't appealing but you are
Stuting like you ain't my only girl but you are
I'm ready to stop when you are
Dance, ooooooh ooooh
Whoa-oh, oh ohhhh
Dance, ooooooh ooooh
Whoa-oh, oh ohhhh

Lonely, oh lonely so lonely... I never needed anybody

Wonderful

I've learned a few things this year

I have to have an aim
I need to take college more seriously
I'm selfish
I have a great memory
My parents are the greatest
I miss my CFS friends
The mirror is an enemy
I'm getting old and useless
I prefer Jazz
I must keep my friends - come what may!
Being responsable isn't the same as being boring
I only fall for those heart made of ice
I am as cold-hearted as them!!!

Bed? I couldn't go to bed

My head's too light to try to settle down

Sleep? I couldn't sleep tonight

Not for all the jewels in the crown!

;]

I'm all at sea
Where no-one can bother me
Forgot my roots
If only for a day
Just me and my thoughts sailing far away
Like a warm drink it seeps into my soul
Please just leave me right here on my own
Later on you could spend some time with me
If you want to
All at sea
I'm all at sea
Where no-one can bother me
I sleep by myse
lfI drink on my own
Don't speak to nobody
I gave away my phone
Like a warm drink it seeps into my soul
Please just leave me right here on my own
Later on you could spend some time with me
If you want to
All at sea
Now I need you more than ever, I need you more than ever, now
You don't need it every day
But sometimes don't you just crave
To disappear within your mind
You never know what you might find
So come and spend some time with me
We will spend it all at sea
Like a warm drink it seeps into my soul
Please just leave me right here on my own
Later on you could spend some time with me
If you want to
All at sea

;]

Realmente

E tenho dito!

Dependendo demais de uma frase...
Hora de agir!

Saudade

Segunda-feira

Primeiro dia de férias.
9:30 - Bom dia!
Mãe pegando sol na sacada.
Papo decisivo. Banho. Sono. Sol.
Livro novo. Muito bom. Risada.
Telefonema: - Já vou!
Ônibus. Livro. Patos (sempre, os patinhos..).
- Alô?! Tô chegando...
Encontro. Burocracia. Resolvido.
- Que roubada! Sacanagem, hein?!
- O melhor que conseguimos!
Pressa. Fusca sala-de-estar. Corre.
- Nem vai me cumprimentar?!
- Pressa, que merda! Beijo.
Corre. Pé. Ônibus. Em tempo.
Volta. Risada. Quem diria!
-Ei, teu dinheiro! Savei teu dia, hein?!
E que dia! Mais risada. E quem diria!
Sede. Corre. Telefone. Pára.
- Duas vezes?! Tá me seguindo?!
Mais risada. Mais quem diria! he he
Vergonha sendo superada. Voltas.
Sorrisão. Muito bom. Sem rumo, boa companhia!
Corre. La-la-la-laaaaa... Pirulito.
- Que feliz! Ãhn? Nao acredito! Duas vezes?!
- Perna bamba.. hahaha!
- Tu tem mais sorte do que juizo!
- Sinuca?!
Bagunça. Vestibulandos. Risada.
Turma boa. Modinha. Danças malucas.
- Ugh.. sem preconceito! É que de mulher chata já basta eu!
- Me ensina. Muito aqui e pouco aqui!
- Embora! Pleeeease!
- Se quiser de volta, vai ter que pagar.
- Ha ha haaa.. (som de fundo! haja paciência!)
- Ei, essa eu sei a coreografia!
- Hmm.. ele mandou mensagem!
- Tá apaixonadaaaaaa... Ei, deixa quieto o que tu viu, tá?
- Nã.. tá melhor do que eu!
3:04 Chegaaaaa
Casa. Cama. Sono. Bronca. Vida nova.
ZzzZZzzzZZZzzzzZZZZzzzzzZZZZZzzzzzz

Enfim......

Eis que surge a figura!
Minha cabeça girando, aquela sensação de culpa, vontade de dizer não...
Resisitir é impossível, o poder que aquele olhar exerce sobre meu autocontrole é simplesmente absoluto. O cérebro já não pensa, os joelhos não sustentam meu peso, as mãos suam frio. Os dedos pesados na minha nuca, arrepiam a alma. O sorrisco doce e as pupilas dilatadas denunciam o que já é minha constante preocupação. A voz macia e os cabelos negros acariciam minha orelha e confirmam o futuro próximo. Um deslize e eu fujo. Aquele não é um bom momento. Sinto de novo minhas mãos suarem, o calor agora invade meu rosto. Vergonha.
Consegui. Por que , então, não estou feliz?! Por que quero voltar? Por quê?!
Venci a batalha, e ainda assim não sinto que estou segura.
Parece que ele vai voltar a qualquer hora.
Quando eu menos esperar, lá estará ele: mãos fortes, cabelos negros,voz doce, sotaque carioca e fala pausada no meu ouvido, derretendo meu corpo e cegando minha alma.
E a vontade de dizer não indo embora...
E eu lutando. E meu inconsciente emitindo escassos sinais de alerta.
E meu coração parado, pedindo pinico.
Sei que a culpa é minha.
Mas, ah, por que levar tão a sério?
Eu não falo por mal...
Nem faço por mal..
Um dia, quem sabe, esquece.

Hm..

If melody
is my destiny
than what's left of me,
i'll give to you..
and if next to me,
is all that you need to be
would you settle for fantasy,
if it's the best you could do?
can I have my cake?
can i have you too?
would you follow me?
could i ask you to?
would the world between us,
break these ties?
we worked so hard
to realize..
can a postcard say,
what i see in your eyes?
could i ever break away?
would i be satisfied,
and find peace inside
rolling half my life
over broken white lines?
can i have my cake,
can i have you too?
would you follow me,
could i ask you too?
will i wake up one morning,
and see your face
in the streaks on the window,
that the rainstorm makes?
could you bear all the waiting,
and the strength that it takes?
could i ever break away?
could i ever break away?
can i have my cake?
can i have you too?
would you follow me?
could i ask you to?
would the world between us,
break these ties?
we worked so hard to realize..
can a postcard say,
what i see in your eyes?
could i ever break away?
could i ever break away?
away...
away..
away...

Mais um dia

Tã-nã-nãm.. tã-nã-nãm... 7:30
Desliga. Arruma.
Tã-nã-nãm.. tã-nã-nãm... 8:30
Desliga. Arruma.
Pa-ra-ra-ra-pa-rã-pa-rãããm
- Alô?
- Jubilda, é a Mari. Te acordei?
- Ãhn? Não, não, pode falar..
- Vai estudar pra conforto?
- Pretendo
- Tu me ensina a fazer máscaras solares?
Finda o papo de respostas monossilábicas.
Banho. Café.
Dor no corpo.
- Liga pra médica! Tu tá muito mal..
Conferências sobre o estado de espírito atual, sobre desistências e situações nada agradáveis. Material arrumado, em mãos, correria.
Ônibus cheio, calorão, filtro solar.
Chegada. Pessoas tolas e trôpegas com suas histórias malucas passam na frente.
Auto-avaliação. Como tornar real o abstrato?
Amigas. Saudades.
Ofícios. Burocracia. Simpatia. Prova. Estudar.
Casa. Conforto? Fotos. Amanhã.
Chuva? Tomara. Refresca, tempo!
- Diz pra se ela precisar de alguma coisa, me ligar, que eu estarei aqui.
Beijo.
- E não esquece que vai chover!

_________________________________________________________________

Eu tento ser interessada, cara-de-pau, querida, tagarela, espontânea, divertida e feliz.
Queria ser organizada, competente, bem-informada, espirituosa, companheira, eficiente, bem-sucedida, amada, estudiosa e conciliadora.
Mas eu sou egoísta, relapsa, preguiçosa, inconveniente, medrosa, displicente, inquieta, manipuladora, medíocre, leviana, cri-cri e metida.

You can't manufacture a miracleThe silence was pitiful - that dayAnd love is getting too cynicalPassion's just physical - these daysYou analyse everyone you meetBut get no sign - the loving kindEvery night you admit defeatAnd cry yourself blindIf you can't wake up in the morning'Cause your bed lies vacant at nightIf you're lost, hurt, tired or lonelyCan't control it - try as you mightMay you find that love that won't leave youMay you find it by the end of the dayYou won't be lost, hurt, tired and lonelySomething beautiful will come your wayThe DJ said on the radio Life should be stereo - each dayAnd the past that cast the unsuitableInstead of some kind of beautifulYou just couldn't waitAll your friends think you're satisfiedBut they can't see your soul, no, no, noForgot the time feeling petrifiedWhen they lived aloneIf you can't wake up in the morning'Cause your bed lies vacant at nightIf you're lost, hurt, tired or lonelyCan't control it - try as you mightMay you find that love that won't leave youMay you find it by the end of the dayYou won't be lost, hurt, tired and lonelySomething beautiful will come your way(It'll come your way) Some kind of beautiful (It'll come your way) Some kind of beautiful(It'll come your way) Some kind of beautiful(It'll come your way) All your friends think you're satisfiedBut they can't see your soul, no, no, noForgot the time feeling petrified When they lived aloneIf you can't wake up in the morning'Cause your bed lies vacant at nightIf you're lost, hurt, tired or lonelyCan't control it - try as you mightMay you find that love that won't leave youMay you find it by the end of the dayYou won't be lost, hurt, tired and lonelySomething beautiful will come your way You won't be lost, hurt, tired and lonelySomething beautiful will come your way

I've got a right to be wrong
My mistakes will make me strong
I'm stepping out into the great unknown
I'm feeling wings though I've never flown
I've got a mind of my own
I'm flesh and blood to the bone
I'm not made of stone
Got a right to be wrong
So just leave me alone
I've got a right to be wrong
I've been held down too long
I've got to break free
So I can finally breathe
I've got a right to be wrong
Got to sing my own song
I might be singing out of key
But it sure feels good to me
Got a right to be wrong
So just leave me alone
You're entitled to your opinion
But it's really my decision
I can't turn back
I'm on a mission
If you care don't you dare blur my vision
Let me be all that I can be
Don't smother me with negativity
Whatever's out there waiting for me
I'm going to faced it willingly
I've got a right to be wrong
My mistakes will make me strong
I'm stepping out into the great unknown
I'm feeling wings though I've never flown
I've got a mind of my own
Flesh and blood to the bone
See, I'm not made of stone
I've got a right to be wrong
So just leave me alone
I've got a right to be wrong
I've been held down to long
I've got to break free
So I can finally breathe
I've got a right to be wrong
Got to sing my own song
I might be singing out of key
But it sure feels good to me
I've got a right to be wrong
So just leave me alone

Um dia

Ostra. Miojo.
- Rápido!
Carro. Ônibus. Livro.
Leio, rio, pessoas, pessoas..
Cheguei. Livro bom, devia ter lido inteiro.
Várias pessoas.
Chiclé barulhento. Pirulito em cima da mesa, caneta do lado.
Leio, me concentro, rio, penso, paro, rio, marco, chuto, rio.
Várias pessoas, aliás, essas pessoas...
Saio. Pirulito. Café. Pirulito com café.
Jogo do Avaí. Poderia estudar aqui...
Caminho. Sento. Leio. Ônibus. Leio.
Toque. Mensagem.
Livro bom, menino bonitinho.
Garganta dói. Que que deu?
- Cheguei!
- Já?!
- Aham... tranqüilo.
- Shopping?
- Será? Bah... vamos!
Mais pessoas. Muito mais pessoas. Muito, mas muito mais pessoas...
Socorro! Natal virou doença!
Rio. Leio. Rio. Ando. Paro. Entro. Saio.
Rio mais. Falo. Muito.
Pastel.
Embora. Chega!
Cabeça cheia. Garganta dói.
E o pobre do coração?
Chega!
Boa prova. Será?
Bah.. já era!

Boa sorte!

Oooo no
here comes that sun again
that means another day without you my friend
and it hurts me to look into the mirror at myself
and it hurts even more to have to be with somebody else
and its so hard to do
and so easy to say
but sometimes
sometimes
you just have to walk away
walk away
so many people to love in my life
why do i worry about one
but you put the happy in my ness
you put the good times into my fun
and its so hard to do
and so easy to say
sometimes
sometimes
you just have to walk away
walk away
and head for the door
we've tried the goodbyes
so many days
we walk in the same direction
so that we could never stray
they say if you love somebody
then you have got to set them free
but i would rather be locked to you than live in this pain and misery
they say that time, will make all this go away
but its time that has taken my tomorrows and turned them into yesterdays
and once again that rising sun is a droppin on down
and once again you my friend are no where to be found
and its so hard to do, and so easy to say
but sometimes
sometimes
you just have to walk away
walk away
and head for the door
you just walk away
walk away
walk away.....
just walk on
walk on
turn and head for the door....
walk away

Eu não vim aqui / Pra entender ou explicar / Nem pedir nada pra mim

domingo, dezembro 26

And now what?

sexta-feira, dezembro 24

quinta-feira, dezembro 23

Wonderful

;]

quinta-feira, dezembro 16

E tenho dito!

quarta-feira, dezembro 15

Segunda-feira

quarta-feira, dezembro 8

Enfim......

Hm..

segunda-feira, dezembro 6

Mais um dia

domingo, dezembro 5

sábado, dezembro 4

Um dia

Boa sorte!

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